if you like me you must not know who I am
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
