i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
