my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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