The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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