You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
