Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
