You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
