You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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