I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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