what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
