can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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