that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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