sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
