Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
