sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
