I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
