I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize