we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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