last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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