C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
