I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
