Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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