at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize