I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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