Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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