in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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