do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We named our party play list daddy issues
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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