i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
