I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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