i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
