You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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