Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
