So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
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