I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
