my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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