I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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