bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
