can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
