I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
