do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize