Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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