So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
