I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
