I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
