you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
