If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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