should my penis look like a turkey
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
