I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
