how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
