If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
