i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
