You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
