i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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