nut hugger
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I will be naked everywhere
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
