doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
