they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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