the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
