I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
