I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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